January 19,2015
I was ignoring her since past 8-9 days and I wasn't replying to her text messages nor calls... I thought that everything was fine I was trying to forget her until she showed up at my house, I was outside my house so, I can't tell my mom to tell her that I am not here and eventually I have to face her now...
"Aditya?" She said
"Hello, Anwesha!"
"I called you so many times, you aren't replying to my text messages why??? Dubba, tell me, please... Is everything alright?"
"I am fine, I am doing great"
"Are you sure? It seems you are not. We haven't talked for like a week. What's wrong?"
"Not like a week, It's been 10 days since we talked... Anyway, leave I am totally fine, just a bit tired."
"Tired of? Me? or life? or I didn't accept your proposal? Dubba Remember what i told you at the park. You're everything I wished for and I don't want you to change. Please don't. Not now?"
"I can't stop it. I am sorry."
"I know. We change. I mean, we all change. We all do. Okay dubba. What do i have to do for you to stop changing?"
"Nothing, change cannot be stopped. I'm really sorry."
"No there must be a way? This is why I am afraid of change."
"Pain really changes people."
"No No No No ugh... Dubba, please. I had better stay away from you. So that after sometimes everything will be alright maybe. I don't want to lose you."
I didn't say a word that day, I guessed she understood my silence and she left saying I'll miss you, please don't change...
After 20 days more... ab to addat hogyi thi Bina uske message ke sone, Bina uske message ke uthna, na call, na kuch bs dimag mein hmesha wahi chlti rehti ki kaise hogi woh,Kya woh bhi mujhe yaad kr rhi hain? I always wanted to hold her and tell her how much I miss her, How much I loved her... Maybe, I loved her enough to let her go... but she didn't she always made efforts to talk to me but I ruined everything...
"Dubba, we need to talk.." She said
"Yeah, What's it?"
"I feel weird about you. I am not feeling good, It's like a piece of me is upset and I don't know what to do now, I want real Dubba again"
"But, I am the real me, Dubbi"
"You... You aren't. The real dubba is who talks to me not this dubba who hasn't talked to me for like a month now. Not this dubba who tries to ignore me. The real dubba is... he's cheerful and supportive and... and... Dubba I miss you... Please come back"
"He won't. He never will" trying very hard to control my tears...
"I just want my best friend back. I mean. We are still best friends right?"
"Maybe"
"You just needed my love? that's it?" She replied
"Why can't we be together?"
I was done with this friendship stuff, I just can't lie to her and myself anymore.
"Why can't you just accept it?"
"I have no idea!"
"I guess... I guess i have to give you more time. To move one and accept all of this but I can't expect you'll revert back to who you used to be. Dubba can I still trust you?"
"Yes"
Yes, she can trust me, she didn't love me but I did and I cannot break her trust...
"I trust you too..." She replied
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No dubba"
"Did i treat you badly?"
"Dubba, what are you talking about?"
"Am i worthy of being just a friend?"
"No... I don't know!"
"Did I say something wrong?"
"Never. Not a single word"
"Did I do you harm?"
"Stop Dubba, Please!!!"
"How much more love does this heart have to lose?"
"No dubba! Don't think like that, Just, Please stop making me cry!! You never did or said anything wrong Dubba. Never did you harm me. You just... I don't know... Maybe we really shouldn't be friends. Maybe we should have not met each other at all!! I am sick of having friends who just leave me!! You? Arpita? Hardik? You are all just the same."
"I'll accept everything. I'll be here for you. I apologize"
"Sorry dubba, I wasn't able to hold myself down. I am sorry, I am really sorry for what I have just said. We are both tired... tired of things...
"Tired of love?"
"No, tired of everything. Our future? Time is so unpredictable is many ways. No one knows where it will take us... and look at us now. I am right all along... I am afraid of time... and change... I must be really sensitive to change."
"I'll always be there for you" I replied
"Dubba... I have had enough, just give me a break. I may probably have changed too. Change is inevitable indeed."
"I'll always be there for you" I replied
"I wish I could just forget all of this. My problem is... I am always the one who loves more."
"I'll always be there for you" I replied
"I will remember all of our mischiefs. I'll remember all of the moment we had together... All of the fun moments before everything went wrong"
"I'll always be there for you" I replied
"Remember that chemistry HomeWork? That was all intentional. I knew the 3 damn bonds. The only bond was missing was us, Yes I liked you too until Hardik came in and I learned a lot... and I wish I could explain everything but I've had enough. I am so sick of things..."
"I'll always be there for you" I replied
"I wish I had learned to love a person like you... Dubba... I wish you success... Go get yourself a girl who will love you and some friends you can lean on... While I'll do the same... all on my own..."
"I'll always be there for you" I replied
"If i could only turn back time and still be in love with you, but I can't. I just can't... Goodbye and love you"
"Remember I am always there for you, I won't find anyone like you dubbi!!! I guess this is the last time i am calling you DUBBI, I am sorry... Goodbye.."
"I don't know what happened that day, The only thing I knew is that I always wanted her, She was perfect for me, Yeah, we never had our moment, but deep inside we both knew we loved each other bs farq itna tha woh shabd ni ban paye aur sath chuth gya. That day I cried because there was this piece of me which felt like missing, and eventually, I cried, I was done lying to myself again and again. "
CHAPTER 5 will be the last chapter
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